I’m Marisha Horsman, founder of
It’s my heart’s purpose to empower women caught in disharmonised eating into radiant recovery, so they may live joyful, soul-centred and fulfilling lives, free from battling and shame.
Roll back over two decades: Always a smile on my face, and the image of good fortune, behind it all, I struggled with disharmonised eating and the constant sense that my body was not ‘enough’ (and the conclusion I wasn’t either). By ten years old, I had become addicted to sugar to cope with physical fatigue and overwhelming emotions. In my teens, it developed into dieting and binge-eating; my weight ballooned only intensifying my lack of self-worth. By the time I was 20, aided by a traumatic experience, I was a full-blown bulimic. As my precious years of youth passed, I became more extreme with my body subjecting it to increasingly harsh regimes of over exercise and restrictive eating. I developed orthorexia and teetered at the edge of anorexia. Relentless, the battle with my body and food consumed my life and tortured me with intense shame and self-loathing. And I felt an immense despair because however hard I tried I just couldn’t find a way out. What seemed to work for others, didn’t work for me.
I travelled the world searching for an answer, a cure; trawled bookshops from London to Kathmandu, visited therapists from Capetown to Sydney. My search took me onwards from the rainforests of Australia, to the monasteries of Thailand, to the sacred embrace of India. Though what I found was helpful, either it didn’t go deep enough, or it wasn’t complete enough. At best, it offered temporary respite, only to find myself plunged back into the chaos of uncontrollable bingeing & purging, and intense self-loathing.
Sensing it was a soul cry, I longed to find someone who could address my obvious disharmony on all levels – physical, mental, emotional and spiritual. Someone who'd been through it themselves and could speak from real experience. Frustratingly, I couldn't find that someone anywhere.
And then, on a fortnight stopover in an Indian ashram, I was invited to stay. Those two weeks became four years! It was the missing link. All the information, experiences and insights I garnered in the years previous had been valid, but now I had the inner support to bring it all together. And I discovered the way out. To my surprise, I became the very person I’d been looking for.
Returning to the UK, I didn’t rush out to help others. If fact, I hid. There was a quiet knowing that myrecovery had to be tried and tested, again and again, as well as my spiritual understanding to mature. For someone who was caught in extreme disharmonised eating and body-shame for decades, I’ve been free for fifteen years.
In this time, I’ve been creating a process to get the same results for other women. A process that doesn’t require spending four years in an ashram, or the tens of thousands of pounds, hundreds of books and dozens of therapists that it took me. All the tools, techniques and information are gathered together. There is no quick fix, but what I’ve created means you’ll recover in the swiftest time that is possible for you, with no ‘battling’ involved!
I now live in Ipswich, Suffolk with my beautiful little daughter. The exploration continues whether the transformational path or the English countryside or foreign lands. Most days begin and end on my yoga mat, while qigong weaves in and out of my daily routine. Free from the fear of food, I enjoy a dinner out with a glass of wine with friends as much as dhal and veggies at home. Recently, I've rediscovered the world of dance, including tango, which is quite a polarity to the cowgirl I used to be when my healing journey began, but that’s a different story for another time...