I’m Marisha Horsman, founder of
It’s my heart's purpose to empower women caught in the seemingly endless struggle with their body to break free so they may live joyful and fulfilling lives, free from battling and shame.
Roll back over two decades: Always a smile on my face, and the image of good fortune, behind it all, I was in despair: enmired in a severe eating disorder, self-loathing and the constant sense that my body was not ‘enough’ (and the conclusion I wasn’t either). At the age of 25, I no longer could hold the image together for others nor myself, and I collapsed dramatically with CFS.
The battle had begun very young and by ten years old, I had become addicted to sugar to cope with physical fatigue and overwhelming emotions. In my late teens, it developed into binge-eating; my weight ballooned only intensifying my lack of self-worth. By the time I was 20, aided by a another traumatic experience, I was a full-blown bulimic, my weight fluctuating wildly as I struggled to cope. As my precious years of youth passed, I became more extreme with my body subjecting it to increasingly harsh regimes of over-exercise and restrictive eating, I teetered at the edge of anorexia. Relentless, the battle with my body and food consumed my life and tortured me with intense shame and self-hatred.
When I regained enough strength after the initial CFS collapse, I began to travel the world searching for an answer, a cure for my sabotaging behaviour; I trawled bookshops from Sydney to London to Kathmandu, I visited therapists from Capetown to Melbourne. My search took me onwards from the rainforests of Australia, to the monasteries of Thailand, to the sacred embrace of India. Though what I found was helpful, either it didn’t go deep enough, or it wasn’t complete enough. At best, it offered temporary respite, only to find myself plunged back into the chaos of uncontrollable bingeing & purging, intense self-loathing and deep inadequacy. And I felt immense anguish because however hard I tried I just couldn’t find a way out. What seemed to work for others, didn’t work for me.
Sensing it was a soul cry, I longed to find someone who could address my obvious disharmony on all levels – physical, mental, emotional and spiritual. Someone who'd been through it themselves and could speak from real experience. Frustratingly, I couldn't find that someone anywhere.
And then, on a fortnight stopover in an Indian ashram, I was invited to stay. Those two weeks became four years! It was the missing link. All the information, experiences and insights I garnered in the years previous had been valid, but now I had the inner support to bring it all together. And I discovered the way out. To my surprise, I found myself becoming the very person I’d been looking for.
Returning to the UK, I didn’t rush out to help others. If fact, at first I hid. There was a quiet knowing that my transformation had to be tried and tested, again and again, as well as my spiritual understanding to mature. For someone who was caught in extreme eating issues and body-shame for decades, I’ve been free for over fifteen years and I have also recovered from CFS.
In this time, I studied and qualified in the therapies that I found to be invaluable to liberating ourselves from this overwhelming battle with our body, and our self. As I step out to work with more and more women, Nourishing Light continually develops and becomes a richer, more dynamic source of transformation and nourishment.
Partaking in the joy, empowerment and fulfilment that Nourishing Light brings, doesn’t require spending four years in an ashram, or the tens of thousands of pounds on travel, or reading of hundreds of books, or years of studying different modalities, or going to the dozens of therapists that it took me. All the tools, techniques and information that I’ve reaped in the past two decades is gathered together and offered to you.
At present, I live in Suffolk, UK with my beautiful little daughter and enjoy a life full of Love. My explorations continue whether on the transformational path or in a pair of wellies tramping the English countryside. Most days begin on my yoga mat and prayer cushion, upon both of which I am nurtured, challenged and embraced – physically, mentally and spiritually. My fingers are never far from a book that offers wisdom or a new perspective, and the same fingers are quite partial to crochet when the opportunity arises! Free from the fear of food, I enjoy dinner out with a glass of wine as much as dhal and veggies at home. Recently, I've rediscovered the world of dance, including tango and ballet, which is quite a polarity to the cowgirl I used to be when my healing journey began, but that’s a different story for another time...